Therapeutic Tuesday – Tough Love

Tough Love.

In this house it means sending a kiddo to their room and refusing to get into never-ending arguments. I have a hard time with this since we are trying to build the bonds of attachment with the girls especially and to a lesser degree, Elasto-boy and Mr. Hockey. Sending them to their rooms hardly seems as though we are attaching.

Sometimes we just need that though.

Lately has been one of those times. We have had to send Queen Bee to her room multiple times over the past few weeks just so the rest of the house can breathe. I don’t know what is going on with her, but oh my goodness, I don’t know what else to do with her.

Example – She walks out of her room, looks at me and grunts. I say “Good morning.” She responds with “Whatever.”
Okay, I decide to leave her be. A few minutes she is talking loudly to Mr. Hockey while the rest of the house is sleeping.
I quietly say in a friendly voice “Can you guys quiet down a bit? Everybody else is still sleeping.”
This turns into a big deal that involves her name-calling, grunting more, flipping out, yelling and eventually swearing or mocking. She lashes out at the other kids when they are not even involved, and if we try to just let it go, she’ll purposely find a way to get someone else upset. I call these “rampages”, where she goes around the house finding someone who she can bother.

The only way to deal with these episodes (which happen 5 or 6 times a day) is to send her to her room for an undertermined amount of time (basically until we hear her stop muttering under her breath for 5 minutes about how mean we are, how much we like everyone else better than her, etc).

So yeah, we have been dealing out tough luck. It’s been working… she is slowly getting it. Less nastiness, less explosions and a little more sanity for everyone else. We just need to make sure to reward the good stuff with her during the other times with a smile, a hug, even a piece of chocolate. I am seriously hoping this little phase ends soon!

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