Lies, Lies and more Lies

My 10 year old daughter has been full of lies lately… well she has always been one to spin a web and lie to get out of trouble but the past few weeks have been one after another.

I am at my whit’s end! She lies about the strangest of things.
For example, 2 days ago she was being excessively hyper before school so was asked to grab some books and take a seat in the playroom to calm down. Not more than a minute passes before she waves her bare foot in the air and says “Dad, can I go to my room and get another sock? I forgot to put one on this foot.” We look at each other then answer “You sat down in the living room and put them both on 5 minutes ago. We saw you.” So she sighs loudly, opens up her hand and shows us the sock all wadded up inside then puts it on her foot.

That night she picks up a bucket of the little kids toys and dumps them on the floor saying loudly “Monkey Girl, why did you dump your toys on the floor?” Monkey Girl was up in her bedroom playing with her Hello Kitties.

Another example? This morning she get s a big bowl of Lucky Charms for breakfast and proceeds to eat all of the marshmellows out of it. She then asks for toast so I tell her she may have some once she finishes her cereal. I turn my back to work of packing lunches and then hear her very loudly (and in a fake-shocked sort of voice) say “OOOPS! I spilled my cereal. I geuss I better have toast now!”

I told a friend of these examples and she laughed herself silly – I agree, they do sound pretty funny but the problem is it is constant! At ball hockey last night she swindled a pair of soccer socks off of another kid by telling them “My parents just won’t buy me any” and tells her teacher at school each Friday that she can’t do her spelling test because A: There was a death in her family and B: her brother took her spelling words to school with him. In actual fact, she studied every day and we suffered no death in our family for 2 years. She lies everyday when I pick her up from school about kissing boys, kids being suspended, bomb threats, you name it. I can always tell when she is lying because she has a “voice” she uses. The boys won’t talk to her or play with her recently because everytime they do, she just tells lie after lie about her friends, her teachers, random people she doesn’t know and her past.

I actually fear for her. She has a few good friends, but sometimes freaks them out with her excessive lying. Since she has begun to lie even more frequently now, I worry that she will alienate herself. She often lives in a fantasy world, taking on whatever characteristics her favourite movie character has for days or even weeks on end. When she listens to songs on the radio, she inserts herself into the song and acts it out through her everyday living. She then gets upset because we have to limit what songs and movies she has access to as she gets so lost in them. We have received many of calls home from school over the years because of things she has said or done related to songs or movies.

I am not sure what the point of this post is other than to vent some frustration. Any ideas from anyone how to stifle some of this lying behaviour before it eats her whole? We are going to try spending more individual attention with her incase this is attention seeking. We haven’t been ignoring her and have been spending about the same amount of time with her as we always have, but maybe she is at a point where she needs more. We are currently open to (almost) anything!

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One Response to Lies, Lies and more Lies

  1. Here in our house we lay down punishment that is heavier than other times for lying….it’s generally not the thing Alyssa has done that upsets me, it’s the lying, and I want to get through to her that we DON’T lie. Maybe that may be something to try…think of a tough punishment to use, even if she is lying about something minor, and then explain to her that it’s not the actual thing that got her punished, it’s the seriousness of lying and how you are trying to break her of it before she gets older and it gets way out of hand. Maybe every time she lies you confiscate something she loves, or do a chore she hates …whatever punishments work the best for her. Good luck!

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